Welcoming Heidi Rose Pt. 1 (Pregnancy)

On Thursday July 2nd, 2020, we welcomed our beautiful rainbow baby, Heidi Rose Rubin to the world. Now that Heidi is three weeks old, I wanted to take a minute to write down her birth story, so I would never forget the special details of her birthday, and what our experience was like through her pregnancy and early newborn days. 

Finding out & First Trimester

I found out I was pregnant with Heidi on the morning of our due date with the baby that we miscarried last spring. Based off my calculations, it should have been too early for me to even get a positive pregnancy test, but our sweet angel Lennon and our rainbow Heidi had other plans and wanted us to have something to celebrate that day. Spenser and I had planned to get out of town that weekend and celebrate Lennon's life in Asheville, NC. It was so special to be able to celebrate this little life that weekend, as well! 

 

**A quick note -- After our miscarriage, I was told by 2 other OBs that they would not run any tests on me or my hormones until I had had 3 or more miscarriages. I was sure that something hormonal was going on with me and had documented my cycles for months, sharing this information with each OB I visited. I couldn't believe they expected me to just accept the pain of the miscarriage and live through 2 more before I could even get a blood panel drawn. If you ever face something like this, do not accept it! I pushed and pushed and went to different practices until finally I found an OB who agreed that I likely had a hormone imbalance and wanted to run tests on me. Turns out, my intuition was right, and I had chronically low progesterone. All I needed was some supplemental progesterone through the first trimester. Without the supplemental progesterone, any pregnancy I had would almost certainly have ended in tragedy. I am so glad I advocated for myself and my babies and didn't let up until I received the care I deserved. Miscarriage is common, but no woman should be expected to live through multiple tragedies before receiving basic care to try and rule out hormonal causes!**

My pregnancy with Heidi was truly a dream. I was nauseas and tired in the beginning, but I was so thankful to be pregnant I found the symptoms reassuring that this baby was growing and healthy, and my progesterone was balanced. I held my breath throughout the first trimester, and was so thankful to my amazing providers at Reply OB/GYN who patiently let me come in for extra blood tests and ultrasounds to make sure this tiny baby was growing safely.  I'll never forget how cared for I felt by the nurses and doctors who validated my anxiety and celebrated with me each time we saw the baby growing safely on the ultrasound. 

Because of our miscarriage experience, we elected to do genetic testing to identify any potential chromosomal issues with the baby. We were terrified of losing another baby and just felt like the more information we had, the more we could relax. We got our genetic results back on Christmas Eve, and sent them to my sister in law so she could tell us if we were having a boy or a girl! She wrote us the most perfect "letter from Santa" that we opened on Christmas day and learned... we were having A GIRL!  We had both dreamed of having a baby girl, and it was such a dream come true to see those words. A girl! Our daughter! She was healthy and she was coming! Knowing we were having a sweet baby girl so early in pregnancy (only 12 weeks) was such a gift to me. It really allowed me to connect with my baby in a way I had not allowed myself to do, and never got the chance to do with Lennon. My girl. She was coming! 

Second Trimester & the Pandemic 

The second trimester was a dream -- I truly loved being pregnant and had such a blast tracking my growing belly. Every week I documented pictures of it. Looking back, I barely looked pregnant, but to me, I could see my baby growing and it made me so happy to see it change week after week. I had so much energy, no food aversions, was working out, and just enjoying every moment. I had such peace that this baby was healthy and safe and we were going to meet, Earthside. Anxiety still came for me, but I would use those moments to pray for her safety and center myself knowing that what I was feeling, she was feeling. And I wanted her to only feel my love, not my fear! 

When the Coronavirus Pandemic started in March, I was just over half way through our pregnancy. Things felt like they were changing so rapidly; it was overwhelming. We didn't know anything about how COVID affected pregnancy or infants, so we immediately went into lockdown - much earlier than most of the people we know! I was terrified that this pandemic would worsen and Spenser wouldn't be allowed to be with me during the birth of our daughter. He ended up not being allowed to attend any more of my OB appointments, but he was able to be at our birth. While I missed him being able to see our ultrasounds in person, it was a fair trade for me.  The hardest part for me about being pregnant in the pandemic ended up living our pregnancy in isolation from family and friends. But, knowing we were doing what we could to protect our family was worth the sacrifice. 

Third Trimester & Our Stubborn Breechling 

Around 28 weeks, we learned (I had already been suspicious) that Heidi was breech. I had felt a really hard lump under my ribs/in my side for a few weeks by this point, and I was concerned it wasn't her butt. Sure enough, my instincts were correct and she was breech! Our doctors reassured us that she would likely turn on her own but gave us a list of things to try to encourage her to turn. We just needed her to get head down by 37 weeks -- it seemed like plenty of time! We tried all the things. I was doing inversions multiple times a day off the couch, handstands in the pool, ice packs on her head, music at the bottom of my belly, acupuncture, chiropractic care... nothing worked. At every appointment we had she was still breech, and the reality was setting in that as she got bigger the less likely she would be to turn on her own. 

Being the Type A prepare-er that I am, I started researching breech babies to educate myself of what our birth options would be. Heidi was in a position for about 8 weeks called Frank Breech. She was folded completely in half with her feet up by her head. At our 36 week ultrasound, she was sucking on her toes! Babies that stay in this position *can* be born vaginally if the provider is able to perform a breech vaginal birth, but after doing some research, I felt the risks for a first time mom were a bit too high for my comfort level. We looked into a doing a procedure called an External Cephalic Version, but ultimately decided / Heidi decided it wasn't for us. An ECV is a procedure done in the OR at the hospital (in case there is an emergency delivery needed) where the doctors give the mother an epidural (if you're lucky), and then manually try to turn the baby with their hands. I spoke to a few people who had done this, and it sounded excruciatingly painful. For first time moms, the success rate is really low (<25%) and can cause fetal distress to the baby. My instincts were telling me that Heidi was not going to turn on her own, but I felt a lot of guilt/self inflicted pressure to try everything we could to get her to have a vaginal birth. 

 

Thankfully, she made the call for us and said "No thanks!" to the ECV. At our 37 week appointment, we learned that Heidi had already engaged in my birth canal -- she was LOW at -1 station. Our chances of an ECV being successful at that point pretty much went out the window and our provider said she really didn't think it was worth the stress to me or the baby to even try. Heidi had also gotten her legs free and had moved into a position called Complete Breech -- her feet were cross-legged in my pelvis. Vaginal birth was also no longer a safe option for us. 

Because of Heidi's foot-first positioning, and the risk of what could happen to either of us if I went into labor naturally, we decided to schedule a c-section at 39 weeks. I spent the next two weeks talking to every mom I knew who'd had a c-section and tried to prepare and educate myself for my risks, recovery, and return home. I had taken 3 or 4 birth classes during the pandemic to prepare myself for a pain-med free, vaginal birth... c-section wasn't even on my radar. Let alone a planned one! But in my mother-gut, I knew this was our path and the safest way for Heidi to be born and just embraced it. She was in her breech position for a reason, and wasn't turning, so I needed to embrace Plan Z and get ready. 

Planning for her Birthday 

A week before Heidi's birthday, we got the call that we had a scheduled date with the hospital. We decided to keep the exact day a secret from family and friends because we wanted it to be a special day just for us. We wanted to be able to surprise our family with her arrival, instead of everyone waiting / texting us all day for updates. It was the perfect choice for us and added an extra element of fun and suspense that drove our families crazy leading up to it! 

We spent the next week really enjoying our kid-free life, making plans for her arrival (scheduling a house cleaner during our hospital stay was #1 best choice we made!!), and wrapping up work projects. It was actually so nice to know when she was coming and really removed a lot of stress! The night before her birthday, we cooked a big steak dinner, watched a movie, and talked about our hopes and dreams for her life. We went to bed early (knowing we had to wake up at 4am to get to the hospital), and had a lovely, full night's sleep... our last for a while :) 

Early the next morning, the alarm went off.... it was BABY DAY!  (Pt. 2... coming soon!) 

Our Step by Step Guide to Painting Kitchen Cabinets

If you've been following me on Instagram, you know I have made it my mission to paint every single last cherry cabinet in this house! I am currently 38.3 weeks pregnant and decided about 3 weeks ago to tackle the last, and biggest cabinet painting project in our house: Our kitchen! 

While waiting for this baby, I realized there wasn't any time better than the present. I have free time and free hands, and I'm not sure when a combination of those two things will happen ever again :) 

I decided it was worth it (even in my current state) to go ahead and knock these out. I've been sharing the process on my instagram stories and get lots of questions about how to do this. So, I thought I would go ahead and document the steps one by one in a long form so people can reference back if they want! 

Here are the materials you'll need: 

- Electric screwdriver for removing cabinet hardware 

- Electric sander or sanding block (I used a sanding block on mine because they have a smooth finish) 

- Liquid Sandpaper 

- Plastic tarp 

- STIX primer 

- Benjamin Moore Advance paint in Satin (the best, best choice for cabinets!) 

- Small cutting in brush

- Small foam roller 

- Frog tape (the only painter's tape you should use! It never bleeds, unlike blue tape)

Now let's get started! 

1. Remove all the cabinet drawers and doors and remove hardware. I recommend numbering the doors and bases so you know which ones go where! I also like to keep all of the screws in each shelf or drawer when I remove them so I don't lose them! Keep all the handles together in a box or basket. 

 

2. Lightly sand the cabinet fronts and cabinet bases with your sander/sanding block. I don't use too much strength here. I just try to rough them up enough to get the sheen off. Should be mildly dusty. 

3. Once you've sanded everything with your sanding block, I use the Liquid Sandpaper to to make sure all of the factory finish is off AND double it as a cleanup from the sanding dust. This is why I like to do this part second! I pour the Liquid Sandpaper out onto a rag, and just wipe everything down until it's clean and coated. 

4. You are finished prepping your cabinets! They are ready for paint. I really like the primer base called STIX from Benjamin Moore. It's fumey, but it will bond to anything. I've used it on my tile floors, all of my cabinets, and furniture and it provides an excellent base for the paint to bond to. I typically save my foam rollers for applying the cabinet paint, so I prime with the small angled brush, making sure to cut into all the edges. It should cover your cabinets but not be opaque. It doesn't need to be. One coat is usually sufficient but you can do more than one if you want to be extra thorough. Prime the front and back at the same time (this is different from how I recommend applying paint, so this will make more sense in a minute). 

5. Let the primer dry for 1-2 hours. Once the primer is dry, I set up my cabinets on top of little stands like the image below. It helps the cabinets to be steady, and any drips to fall to the table below vs. sitting on the door front. 

6. Start on ONE SIDE of the cabinets. Usually I start on the back side first so that I can sand down any paint drips on the front. I will do all 3 coats on one side fully before flipping them over. Start by cutting in the edges with your angled brush. I find it's easiest to cut in on the edges and corners first, and then roll over them to smooth out so there are no brush strokes. Coat fully with your smooth roller, not pressing too hard so as to avoid lines. If you see any paint lines, lightly roll over them to smooth out. This paint is self leveling, but you will get a more professional finish if you take care to roll out any visible lines. Allow first coat to dry 2-3 hours. 

7. Apply second coat and third coats (you'll likely need 3 for full coverage) allowing to dry 2-4 hours in between depending on your humidity. The more humid, the more time you'll need for them to be dry between coats. Rushing between coats can result in the paint sticking/pulling up. You want them fully dry in between. Once all three coats are applied, let them dry overnight or for 24 hours. This allows the paint to cure and harden before you flip them over. You especially want to do this if you are using the painter tripods above. Otherwise, if the paint hasn't cured, it will leave indents! 

8. Once the paint has cured for 24 hours, flip over to the front of the cabinet. Sand down any paint drips you see so you are starting with a smooth base. You've already primed this side, so you are ready to start on your paint cutting in. Cut in all the edges and then roll out 3 coats (allowing the same 2-3 hours between each coat). 

9. Allow cabinet fronts to cure for 24 hours. Once it's been 24 hours, check for any drips and lightly sand down, touching up paint as needed. 

10. Touch up any spots/deficiencies you see. Allow another 24 hours to cure. 

11. Once you're DONE DONE with your painting and happy with your work, you can reapply the hardware! If you rush to reinstall the hardware before the paint is cured, the paint will be too soft and will stick to the hardware. I made this mistake early on and will not make it again. Even if it feels dry to the touch, it's like putting shoes on when you've had your nails done. You need to just wait a day or you'll smush it :) 

12. Reinstall the hardware and rehang your cabinets! THEY WILL BE CROOKED. This is normal! Once the cabinets are rehung, you can adjust the levelers to get them to close properly. I have a good video on instagram stories highlights about how to do this, but you adjust these two screws in/out and up/down to get the doors to hang properly. It takes about a minute of fiddling with each cabinet to get it right. You may be wondering why you have to do this if you rehung them using the same holes. I did too! The thing to remember is that when they were installed, they would have been leveled out the same way as you're doing now. It's just part of the process.

14. Once you rehang the hardware, you are DONE! Here are the before and afters from our space. I can't tell you how much brighter it makes the room feel. I am so happy we tackled this, even though the timing was interesting. It feels wonderful to have it done and makes the kitchen feel more modern and breezy. 

We have a few more plans for this kitchen including a new dishwasher (Ours has inconveniently broken a week before our baby is due...), installing a new light fixture (this one barely lights up the room), and re-doing the backsplash. The previous owners installed a fiberglass shower surround as the backsplash, and installed long outlet strips that are not fire safe. We will need to have an electrician fix the outlets and will likely have a professional install a new backsplash for us. We had always planned to replace the counter top with something more our style, but we actually find the counter a lot more tolerable now with the white cabinets! It's much less yellow, and more honey colored. We had originally envisioned white counters and white backsplash, but now I'm considering something like this and keeping our counter tops. We're going to sit with it for a bit before we decide. 

Overall, painting your kitchen cabinets is time consuming but not difficult. For me, the hard part is having the time and patience to wait between paint coats/ rehanging. We were able to do our whole kitchen in 2 weeks (with me doing 99% of the work and being 800 years pregnant). With different conditions I think this would have gone faster. But, if you have kiddos and are having to stop and start like I did, it will take some time! But, we were able to give our kitchen a massive makeover for $130 of paint and supplies. From my experience doing this with our 3 bathrooms, these steps allow the paint to hold up really well for daily use. We haven't had to touch up any of our bathrooms so far. Obviously a kitchen does get heavier use, so I'll report back how they are holding up in six months. Now... time to go have a baby! 

Hall Bath Makeover Reveal

If you recall from one of my early posts back in January, our master plan for this year included renovating our hall bath to install a bathtub before the baby arrives this summer. The previous owners had removed the existing bathtub and installed a handicap accessible shower (they were elderly) and that wasn't going to work for us. We figured it would be wise to knock this out before we have a baby sleeping on the other side of this wall that we need to work around nap times. Renovations are also very messy, we felt it was better for everyone's health to just get it done before there's another person to worry about!

We had a budget of about $3000 to remove our existing shower and install a bathtub with a tile surround. Once we found a contractor that we wanted to work with, we had him price out our options. I was not super concerned about having real tile in the bathroom since grout and tile can be difficult to maintain. Since we plan for this to be the main bathroom for our kid(s), we wanted something that could be cleaned quickly and easily. The only thing I cared about was the aesthetics -- I really, really wanted a white subway tile look. Surprisingly, that was really hard to find in an acrylic surround kit!

We were only able to find one option between Bathfitter, Lowes, HomeDepot, and the rest of the internet. Enter: the Delta Upstile System. We showed it to our contractor, and he was really impressed. He had not worked with it before, but was willing to try it with us and see how it goes. Spoiler: He ended up loving it so much, he's now recommending it other clients with similar projects! After selecting our materials, our final estimate came out to $1400. Less than HALF what we had originally planned. We were pumped! We even had enough  money left in our budget to do our master bathroom shower in the same product. I wrote about that makeover here! 

So, before I get to the goods of how the reno turned out, here's a quick refresher on what our space looked like when we moved in. As with all the other bathrooms (and our kitchen) we had the same salmony tile, cherry cabinets, sandy granite counters, and beige "marble" acrylic surround in this room.

Because there was previously a tub in this space, we didn't have to move any plumbing, or walls to get this tub to fit. SCORE! 

Next, the surround walls went up. The support beams are there to  make sure everything leveled out while the screws and glue set.

As a reminder, here's what we started with: 

And here it is after the tub installation:

All in all, our final bill for this portion of the renovation came out to about $1700 with some additional labor for drywall and plumbing, but it was still less than half of our original budget, and a fraction of one of the estimates we got early on that this would cost $5000 for real tile! The Delta Upstile system is holding up SO well, cleans great, and the real tile just adds that extra personality that makes it super convincing and attractive. 10/10 would recommend. 

Now that the tub was done, the rest of the room was in desperate need of some help! Because we had saved so much money on the tub renovation, I wanted to keep it going and challenge ourselves to spend as little as possible on the rest of the makeover. 

So, I decided to shop our garage paint supply, and I had JUST enough paint left over from our master bath reno to use what we had.  I was able to get the ceiling painted a fresh white (it made such a difference!) and the walls a pretty grey for $0 because I already had the paint. 

The next step was to decide what I wanted to do with the counter top and cabinets. We do still plan to replace the countertop at some point, but for the time being we went with a really budget friendly option: contact paper! We purchased $28 of contact paper at Lowes , and installed it right over top the granite. It looks beautiful, and is definitely super convincing from afar. It's tiding me over until we have the budget and (now) the safety to have someone in our home to come replace it (likely sometime in 2021 after baby is settled). The contact paper really helps aesthetically, but it has already chipped and peeled in some places from moisture so it's definitely not going to work long term (I knew it wouldn't, so it's all good). 

When it came to the cabinets, I had debated a playful navy blue that felt very kid-friendly, and went back and forth with my instagram friends on which we should do! Ultimately, my gut said that a bright white cabinet would really lighten this space up and... man.... WAS I RIGHT!? I am so happy I chose white for the cabinets (it also went along with my $$$ goals, because I already had a can of the exact paint I needed since it's what we use to paint all the chipping trim in our house! Another $0 improvement). 

If you'd like to see more about how I paint cabinets, visit this post all about it. I use the same technique, the only change is the paint. I've since switched from chalk paint to a specific line called Ben Moore Advance. It's perfect for cabinets and heavy use. We used it in our master bathroom, and it's held up BEAUTIFULLY over the last 8 months with every day use. We already had it on hand for our trim, so using it again in here was a no brainer. 

I also reused the existing hardware, so spent $0 there! 

The final result is seriously stunning. This paint is self smoothing and self leveling, so once it's fully cured, it looks like it was always there. At this point, I am SUPER confident that when we eventually get to re-doing our kitchen, we can comfortably repaint the those cabinets ourselves and a have a beautiful, long lasting result. 

These photos were taken at the same time of day (and I don't even have the light on in the second photo!) Having the white cabinets and light counters has made such a difference in the brightness of this room. 

As for accessories, I think I spent about $70 on a new shower curtain, rod, and 2 bathmats for this room. Pro tip!! We really needed an extra long bathmat in this space and could not find one we liked. We ended up buying two bathmats and "linking them" together with these from Amazon. They keep the rugs down so you don't slip on them, and putting them end to end made it look like one big rug! 

One of my other favorite transformations is this corner behind the door. Our master bathroom had the same saloon style medicine cabinet that was not functional, had mold, and took up the only logical place for towel rack/hooks. We did the same move we did in our bathroom -- removed the medicine cabinet, and "patched" the hole by covering it with a slab of $14 beadboard from Lowes. We nailed it into place, used wood glue to keep it steady, and attached 4 towel hooks at various (kid and guest friendly) heights. 

The LAST bit of this bathroom makeover was giving our 35 year old, builder grade mirror a "glow up" with a little bit of framing. It's amazing what $14 of trim can do to make a space feel finished. We had these cut and measured at Lowes, and then installed it right on the mirror with construction glue. 

And now, we are finished!! Here are my favorite before and afters of this room:

I think that's enough words and pictures about this bathroom, but I am really, really proud of this one! All in all, I think our total spend on this room came out to probably around $1900, give or take. Which, given that an average bathroom remodel costs about $9000.... I'm pretty thrilled with. I'm so thankful we got this project done when we did, too, because if we had waited until our original April/May timeline instead of doing it in Jan/Feb, we would have been up Schitt's Creek  with everything going on with the pandemic. I'm really grateful to have a beautiful, functional bathroom to obsessively wash my hands in 4,283 times a day these days!