Happy Birthday, Heidigirl.
One whole year. I can hardly believe it, it truly went so fast.
When you were born, you didn’t look anything like I had pictured in my head. You were so loved, but so shockingly unfamiliar. It became apparent to me in our first hours together that you were your own person - not some extension of me. A whole stranger I was going to need to get to know.
When I think back on what life was like in my first year of being a mama— your mama— the magical firsts like first smile, first word, first crawl, first time seeing snow! The Beach! These are all things I had dreamed of for you and me. But this year also was so challenging. The first eight months of your life a pandemic raged. We stayed home. We didn’t see any family. We had so little support. There were times when we pushed your stroller off the sidewalk as people passed because we didn’t know if a stranger breathing on you might make you sick. It was a hard year to learn how to be a mother.
Things have gotten easier, and I hope you feel that too. We see family. Faces. Smiles. If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that people smile with their eyes. Because even though you saw so many masks, you always knew when someone was smiling at you. It made me happy to see you so unaffected in that way.
You and me and dad lived in a little bubble for the last year. We cuddle napped every nap for 7 months. You refused to take bottles so the only person who has ever fed you is me, snuggled up close.
You are my girl. My light. My heart. I live to help you live, and that is my joy upon joys. The honor of my life. A year ago I didn’t know who I was going to meet when they pulled you from my belly. Over the last year I’ve gotten to know the most beautiful, incredible baby, who filled my heart with a happiness I’ve never known.
And today, I get to meet my toddler for the first time! Wake up baby girl, it’s time to eat a donut! 
Happy birthday, Heidi Rose! I love you.
Mom
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